Nothing is wrong

A couple of months back, I had been going through a series of bad mood days, depressed and feeling low days, want-to-cry days .. need to wallow in self pity days.. I would like to believe that my age and hormones were responsible for making me feel so. Hormonal changes at this age, say experts, are responsible for the mood swings and this phase is  rightly termed Mid-life crisis. Physically too I can feel the lag . Slower reflexes, cramps and muscle pulls. The pain in my ankles is getting worse . But these, I am sure, are not the reasons I am feeling blue. I probably just need some attention and some pampering, need to hear few words of comfort . So I go looking for a good soul willing to share my woes, empathize with me and console me.

 My good friend 1 who is more of an elder sister is the easiest to approach. The most positive lady I have known. Her message beeped through my phone just then . The messages that followed in the days thereafter told me about her potential second battle with the emperor of maladies. Each line she typed was followed by a smiling emoticon. She seemed to be celebrating her pain and eagerly looking forward to meeting  the crab. I was so filled with awe that I forgot to unburden my worries to her.
Friend 2 is someone with whom I have been sharing most of my worries and problems. I call him my 3 a.m friend. Someone whom I can approach at any hour and he is all ears. What's more, he has that magic solution to any dilemma. My alter ego , who can guess something is bothering me even before I spoke about it. I could only say I was feeling depressed and didn't know why. He devoted two entire days of his chat time to me but while we tried to analyse what was wrong he ended up pouring his heart out to me. The issues he was facing , his tensions and worries that seemed to be solutionless. He was left with no choice but to face it with a smile. His profile picture displayed his smiling image that seemed to look at me . Who would have thought he was putting up with so much and  braving it all with a smile ! The tables were turned and at the end of the day it was I who was  offering him words of comfort.

Friend 3 was celebrating her birthday that day and I like always remembered to wish her . This was also my opportunity to unburden my bag of grievances. Amidst giggles she told me how life was slowly getting back to normal after a major fire tragedy in her house .No threat to life but most of the things in one of the rooms had burned down and the entire room had been covered with black soot. They had to move out and stay elsewhere for more than a week. The smell of smoke and burnt furniture lingered for a long time.. It had taken three washes and three coats of paint to brighten up the wall again . Furniture had to be replaced, undue expenses had to be met, and yet with a laugh she said 'Thank God , the fire didn't reach the kitchen where the gas cylinders were placed ! It could have been worse'  It surprised me that she still had something to be thankful for.

Friend 4 needed to be reminded of friend 3's birthday .

'Did you wish her ?' I messaged. Expecting an instant text message in reply but she preferred to call instead .

Here was another 'Smiling Budha' friend of mine ..She said she had been wanting to talk to me and consult me on how to deal with her ma in law's dementia problems . The ma in law was getting dangerously forgetful. I was accustomed to my own father's health issues by now. But my father had Parkinsons not Alzheimers . There were those hallucinations and spasms of dementia but then taking care of someone who was bed ridden seemed easier than controlling a mobile person with similar problems. Friend 4's hubby had just joined work after having lost his previous job two years ago. The two years that passed by had been difficult and frustrating. Every time a major expense came by she had to use up what the family had saved.With the draining of finances the frustration built up for the husband but they made it through . The new job offered to her hubby seemed to have eased some of the worries for the family. She was on a look out for a good care giver for the mother. I gave her links of blogs on dementia, and how to be a good care giver, assuring her it would be very helpful.

   My haversack of miseries that I had been carrying on my back all these days seemed lighter now . The bag was empty. What I had been carrying was something fictitious and my worries and despondent look had been a result of this. I just need to wear my Smile, a gear that brightened things up for me and others and feel thankful for this blessed life.
  To make my world better I had been sent a  crowd of guests to visit my home one after another in the past two months, to keep me occupied  and fill my home with warmth and love. Today with both my sons at home for the summer break , life is happier and I promise myself that the happiness will be maintained even after they have gone back . Cheers !

“If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.”