A Train of Thoughts

    The Guruvayoor passenger arrived at the Edappally station exactly at 06.15 hrs.There were not many people waiting on the platform.The train was almost full when it arrived.I didn't bother to get into the ladies' compartment. One gets to see a variety of interesting passengers in the other compartments and I preferred to travel in their company. An old man shifted slightly  and offered me a little space next to him. .I ignored , and seated myself between two ladies. I now had a good view of this man .Seated next to me was a middle aged lady, who was going to Guruvayoor and was chanting something from her prayer book .On my right was a young girl who was talking into her mobile phone. She had her mouth covered with her hand, channeling her voice straight into the phone without littering a sound. And no matter how hard I tried I couldn't hear a thing. Now and then I saw her smiling and blushing.Near the window was seated a young man .The tuft of hair in the front was puffed up giving him the Tintin look. He was gazing out of the window and was singing Rafi's 'Chaudvin ka chand'.After every line he paused to say "wah wah!' Was he appreciating the lyrics of the song or was he 'wah wah'ing his own singing talent? May be he was visualising the beauty Waheeda Rehman or his own lady love. He crooned,unaware of the others in the compartment.Near the other window was another fellow fast asleep. His hair on the left was too long ,I noticed ... It fell on his shoulder but surprisingly on the right the hair was short. the middle of his head was bald.I wondered why he kept his hair in this manner . My doubts were cleared just before the train reached Alwaye.The man woke up,flicked a comb from his pocket,combed his hair on the left carefully to the right, Now his bald pate was well covered .He flashed a smile and got ready to alight.
I shifted my attention to the old man again who had offered me place to sit.He was snoozing ,with his head thrown back and mouth open. His eyes were half closed and for a moment I thought he was feigning sleep. A young boy,who had with his mother boarded from Alwaye, managed to fit himself into that little space the sleeping man had offered me .Minutes later the sleeping man woke up and gave a long stare at the boy who stared back boldly. I admired the little fellow.His mother had also got a seat for herself and asked  the boy to sit next to her . He happily snuggled close to his mom,covering his legs with the edge of the lady's sari and soon fell asleep too. The weather outside was such that anybody would feel comfy inside the train and the rocking so gentle that one would want to sleep. I stopped looking at the people now and shifted my attention to the outside world . The view outside was beautiful.. The dark clouds loomed large and had a very conspicous silver lining. My mind ascended the clouds and I was soon building castles in the air.... The train jerked to a stop and I was thrown back to reality.I realised my destinaion was near , most of my co passengers had already alighted at the previous stations and I had not even noticed.The train halted again at Punkunnam and I descended  from the train not very happy but  with a decision to make a longer train journey soon. 
I love travelling by train , observing people while doing so , doing a character study of them , also watching the views outside , seeing the trees and fields run by . It makes me understand the nuances of life and helps me grow emotionally .

In Bereavement

      Like my father , my hubby too had started scanning the obituary coloumns and as he did so on the 1st of October (2009) , I teased him asking him if he was looking for his contemporaries . An hour later came the news of our cousin  Vijuettan's  death .. It struck like a bolt from the blue . In disbelief I called an aunt to confirm . She had not heard and I hoped it was a mistake . But hours later the news was confirmed and had left all relatives stunned . Vijuettan had been  in his early fifties. 
      The picture of his family - his two lovely daughters and innocent wife and an ever smiling him just refused to leave my mind. Not a week back he had called hubby and announced that he was coming to Delhi on the 24th .

“Long time since I had dosas and chamanthi . Ask Asha to prepare them when I come“.  


Those were instructions for me and then he insisted on talking to me . His laughter still rings in my ears today . His ‘Ok, bye’ was a long one and I had to cut the call or he would have gone on with many more ‘byes’. He didn't live to visit us and till date whenever I make 'dosas', I think of him.

    He had raced through life , lived it on his own terms and hurried to death . He had enjoyed to the hilt , lived dangerously with all his life threatening habits and a couldn’t care less attitude regarding his health , had many a near-fatal accident , an incident of snake bite and many more adventurous happenings . At the age of fifty plus he even dared to try  bunjee jumping and mountain climbing. He had done it  all in  in the  short span of his life  and probably had no regrets .
    
    An unexpected and untimely  death in the family makes one wonder ........
...Why the youthful him when there were so many octogenarians and nonagenarians waiting with impatience and willingness to leave any moment? 

    It calls for introspection. Your  own death looms as a big reality before you . It can come any time and take you unawares. So you better get your priorities rechecked. Erase all the grudges you have against anyone . One may go to one's long account all of a sudden  and a second  chance to redeem may never come  .

Surgery Nightmare

TAH- BSO….
We tried to decipher what the abbreviation meant. TAH – we guessed was Total abdominal hysterectomy. what was BSO ?
On 13th Aug 2009 I had been admitted to the hospital for a hysterectomy .
Hubby tried to find out from one of the nurses what BSO stood for .
“Bilateral Salpingo Oophorectomy” she answered with a pout .
 Sounded like a new variety of icecream in the menu card. "And what does it mean ? “ I asked .
Removal of both the ovaries “
There was a look of shock on our faces. We had been told that the ovaries wuld not be removed. but what is this ?
Next morning  I woke up chanting ' Bilateral Salpingo Oophorectomy' ..and hubby waited to question the Dr on her decision. What the Dr said I didn't know since I was wheeled to the OT before hubby returned. On the operation table I was made to lie on my side and asked to curl like a ‘C’ . and the anaesthetic injected into my spine. Then I was asked to lie still on my back with my arms outstretched. I lay there listening to the Doctors and interns converse . There must have been atleast 20 people in the theatre then . The operation had begun I realised…. BSO…Bi…Sal…Oophre… my mind was worrying. when somebody peeped over the screen and asked me if I had ever had any kind of pain before ?
"any instance of constipation ?"  what !!! ‘NO’ I said.
I heard bits and parts of their conversation
“Some major infection “ “intestine, …bladder. ” .Why were they talkin about my guts and bladder ? “Dr.Sanjay Tiwari can u come to the theatre immediately .It’s an emergency. “ I heard one of the doctors announce. I had started shivering uncontrollably.
“Bear huggies ” summoned the anaesthetist. ..That was a kind of electric blanket I understood when it was wrapped over my upper torso. I still shivered. Two interns rubbed warmth into my palms. My BP was fluctuating I knew. for the Drs were wondering if the instrument was working and they confirmed it was .but when used on me it wasn’t giving a stable reading.Some injection was given to stop my shivering . I felt sick and the need to throw up.
Now I heard the Gynaec’s voice ,clear and loud ..
 ” The patient’s husband should be informed”
 Oh! I was going to die ……and my husband is going to be informed about it . I shut my eyes tight. I felt tears rolling down my eyes .
 The Deep brown eyes of the anaesthetist looked down at me and asked in a very sweet voice “why tears?”as she wiped my eyes .
 I stopped thinking . and the commotion in the theatre continued .. voices everywhere..
I heard the loud guffaw of the general surgeon. It welcomed me back to life and I knew the moment of peril had passed . And I was soon wheeled back to my room. Before leaving a young nurse showed me the victim.. my uterus in a glass case along with the right ovary and, the root of all trouble, a cyst that was now captivated and confined in a glass container. Two days later I was discharged .
My discharge summary read ......‘Uterus was adhered to the bladder. Right ovary adhered  to the intestine, left ovary adhered to the intestine and pelvic wall”
 TAH with a RSO…
 “what’s that ?" ,I asked my hubby .
“Right Salpingo Oophorectomy ” He answered with a smile.He was by now well familiar with the medical terms and this newly acquired knowledge gave him the 'genius doc look'. The left ovary had been spared since  I was  young the doctor had decided . May be it's still happily adhered to some other organ within me.